Life: What am I, chopped liver?
Life: What am I, chopped liver?
Life: What am I, chopped liver?
Definaction: You know that feeling when you’re with a group of people and you say something and it’s like you’re not even there? That! And yes, if you’re wondering, you are the only one this happens to.
Correct usage: Speaking to your vegan friends “Wait! You guys made plans for dinner and didn’t even think to ask me? What am I, chopped liver?”
Incorrect usage: “What!?! You want me to sign an organ donation card? What am I, chopped liver?”
Debatable origin: First known use of reverse product placement. Intent on smearing the competition in order to break into the American market, the Steak & Kidney Pie Lobby of Great Britain paid to have Judge Judy use the expression with full gusto.
Life: The Big Cheese
Life: What am I, chopped liver?
Life: What am I, chopped liver?
Definaction: when used in the first person, is likely to be old, smelly, insecure and still think it’s in charge
Correct usage: “listen, that clerk over there – yeah, the one with fourteen hairs, a nose tattoo and herpes. Yeah, that one – well he refuses to serve me because I’m wearing a Keep Calm and Listen to Smooth Jazz t-shirt. I wanna know who the big cheese is around here because this isn’t right and I want to file a complaint.”
Incorrect usage: upon entering a world renowned cheese shop in rural Switzerland “yes, I’d like some cheese. Anyone one of them, just as long as it’s a big cheese; I’m famished.”
What are the odds: we know cheese really is big because so many famous people and things have been named after it. Ray Romano, Alison Brie, The Blue Man Group, The Munsters, the song Brick House, there are String Quartets here and there, Colby Armstrong was a decent hockey player and a whole bunch of Jacks live in Monterey. Gee whiz! That’s enough to make someone lose his marbles.
Life: It's a Dog's Breakfast
Life: What am I, chopped liver?
Life: It's a Dog's Breakfast
Definaction: your junk drawer after you’re done looking for the paperclip you were absolutely positive was in there
Correct usage: the 2017 White House was a real dog’s breakfast.
Incorrect usage: you “sorry, I was out of eggs and bread” your guest “soooo, what is this then?”
Dog version: It’s a real Steve’s laundry pile